Monday, March 19, 2012

Feeling Good

Today has been a good day!  Actually, it has been a good month so far!  The weather has drawn me out of my slump and the sun has been high in the sky almost daily.  My weight is still under control and my waist is getting slimmer.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and can't believe that I actually have curves in the right places again.  I am no longer looking like the little Oompa Loompa that I had become.

My daily motivation for exercise has become my children.  Carlie and David just love going to the child watch at the gym and push me to go almost daily.  I find that I'm not eating as much again, something that I had sadly fallen back on in the past.  Something I haven't done, however, is change the commitment to myself to get healthy.  I go to the gym 5 to 6 times a week and rock out to whatever is on Pandora at the time.  I feel so good afterwards that I feel as if I could just move all day without stopping.  Unfortunately, my mind does not always have the same motivation that my body has.

It's funny how normally you are mentally telling yourself to get up and move but your body doesn't go anywhere.  Now I find myself convincing myself it's okay to sit down for a couple minutes.  I feel as if I am the energizer bunny and I can't stop moving.  That isn't always good, especially when you have to go somewhere and don't want to be all sweaty and stinky.  I guess, though, using the excuse that you just couldn't stop getting healthy isn't so bad.

I know that I am doing such a good thing for myself.  I also know that what I do good for myself rolls over into my family.  Just the other day I found McKayla ordering water to drink while we were out instead of a soda.  That made me feel real good.  Will drinks water but usually it's not willingly and David does't drink water at all unless he thinks he is dying of thirst.  I know that I am being a positive influence on my children, even if only one of them are getting it now.  Hopefully one day they will all want water and mainly water.  I know that I used to be against water but now I don't go anywhere without it.  It is like a lifeline now.  It is so refreshing and convenient.  Who doesn't have water?  It's not a "pepsi" or "coke" thing.  It's a water thing, something that everyone has at their fingertips.

Becoming healthy just feels so good.  Sometimes I think that I can't actually feel as good as I do.  However, I am also finding that I need less sleep.  I love to sleep and would love to be able to do it all day sometimes, but I don't have to.  I found myself leaving the house the other morning at 6:30am because I was wide awake.  I knew that I couldn't sleep so I went to Walmart to get some things we needed.  Amazed at myself, I still wound up going to the gym for a good workout.  That is wat healthy has done for me.  It has made me more active, more alert, much happier.  I am feeling good all around and while one thing can only make a small difference, that small difference is what makes me wish to change many things.

My many small things have rolled into a big thing.  That big thing?  It's me!  It's a happier, healthier me!  I love my life and I am learning to love myself!  You should do the same if you haven't gotten there yet.  One small step at a time.

Friday, March 9, 2012

It's been a while....

I am back!  I should have never disappeared but I lost focus with what I was trying to accomplish....  I wanted to document my journey so that I could see my progress.  Unfortunately, I gained all the weight back that I had lost.  I had felt defeated until I realized that I didn't look larger, I just weighed more.  I got to thinking.  What did I do differently to gain weight?  Then it hit me!  I was going to the gym and lifting weights!  While I had hit my plateau with my fat loss for the moment my body was gaining muscle mass, causing me to gain weight.  It made perfect sense after I analyzed my daily routine and noted that nothing significant had changed, not even my diet.

Now I am back, with more confidence and self esteem than before.  I have not only been weight lifting and exercising daily but now I am starting to see weight loss again.  That means, to me, that I have now lifted that plateau and I can now continue with a stronger weight loss journey.  I can see progress, though, in my hips and my breasts.  My pecks are tightening which is lifting my breast tissue from the "Mommy" stage to a "little less Mommy" and I actually have a tiny waist again.  I am so excited to finally be seeing myself in a more positive light.

I know that I normally put on a positive attitude on here but sometimes it's really hard. I don't always feel confident in what I have been doing.  Dedicated, yes.  Confident in the outcome, no.  Either way, I'm sure everyone feels that way sometime or another so I don't think it's too bad for me to let out some frustrations in here.  If I can learn to cope with them and I can help others help cope with frustrations, or we learn to cope together, this journey can be a lot easier.  It's not about just me.  This is a lifestyle change for my entire family.

When you see positive actions in people close to you, you are more inclined to follow.  My children love running with me or swimming with me.  Both are great ways to stay in shape and I love taking advantage of that.  I love being able to take my children to the pool and splash around with them.  Their favorite game to play is frisbee.  However, they like to throw it to the other side of the pool to make me swim more.  They have fun, I have fun, that's all that matters.

Sorry this is so short but I'm running out of steam tonight.  Need to relax for another big day at the gym and maybe the pool.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Daily Bliss

Hello everyone!  I must admit, today I was not motivated what so ever to do any exercising....  However, Carlie was sick all day yesterday so she was looking for a way out of the house.  She was adamant that she wanted to go play so she was definitely my motivation today.  As a matter of fact, she is my motivation everyday along with David, McKayla, and William.  Without them and the support they have been giving me I know that I am doing the right thing.

McKayla said to me the other day that I don't have a fat belly anymore.  I used to take offense to when anyone talked about my weight, now I'm looking for ways that people can compliment me.  I want to look in the mirror and see the results of my hard work.  I want others to look at me and notice the hard work.  I know that we are our biggest critics and when I look at myself I don't always see what I have accomplished but my family and friends can.  It is wonderful to have McKayla now tell me that I've lost the belly that I have carried for far too long.

Am I where I want to be???  Far from it.  Actually I have gone so far backwards I'm just trying to play catch up to where I was a month ago.  I know that struggling with this will pass in time but I am not looking at my weight gain again as a set back.  I can see that I still have the waist that I worked hard for.  I still have the flatter stomach (although not where I want it to be).  I can feel that my butt is becoming more tone and my pecks are starting to build muscle.  (My pecks are important to me because they are helping fight off the gravity that four children brings on.)

I have gained 7 pounds in a month.  Is it because of lack of exercise?  Not a chance.  It may be a couple pounds of fat from adding more variety to my diet again but a lot of my weight gain I know is in muscle mass.  I go to the gym 5 to 6 days a week, work out for at least an hour and a half but usually two hours (that's all the little ones can stay in child watch at a time), and I still don't eat a lot.  I have fallen back to eating late, however, and that is something I need to change again.  Even if I don't stop eating at 5pm I can stop at 6 or 6:30.  But the late night snacks have not helped me.

So today, with Carlie as my motivation, I exercised for 2 full hours suffering through a shin splint to complete 2.12 miles on the treadmill in 30 minutes.  I did another 45 minutes on the eliptical, totalling over 3 miles on that, and worked on my abs and other muscles for the remainder of the 2 hours.    I felt so great after the workout I took the kids to the park, played a little tag, some hide and seek, "bear" family, and pushed the little ones on the swing (in the process showing them what an "underdog" was). 

We had so much fun, laughing, running, jumping.  Nothing can stand in my way when I have the love and laughter of my children.  The hugs they share, the imaginations they pull me into.  Between having to rescue my bear cubs to taking the dinosaurs out of jail, I have come to the conclusion that I am a magician who can change any environment into a world of wonder.

As I type my little monsters are hiding in the cave on my bed (my comforter) and trying to stay out of the rain.  They make me want to move on and continue a journey.  My imagination can take me to wonderful places when I reach different milestones.  But I don't need a scale to tell me I'm doing good.  I see it in my energy level and when I chase my little wonders through an empty field or even through our living room.  I want to be active, I want to run, I want to be out doing things.  I want to live and I have chosen to live actively.

So look deep within yourself.  Who do you chose to be?  Do you chose to sit on the sidelines?  Do you chose to join the team and give it all you have?  Or do you think you are more of the motivational person?  Remember that motivation doesn't show up on the couch.  Motivation shows up when you start on your journey; maybe not right away, but it will catch up with you.  Drag yourself up out of the pit of no return.  You have not hit rock bottom yet.  I pulled myself up.  Join me and we can move forward together!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

It's about that time....

Okay ladies, this post is all about us....  Guys, I can't relate to you on this topic so you'll have to pardon my apparent discrimination against you from lack of knowledge.  Now, we are a society that flaunts our sexuality.  However, we never seem to discuss what gives us that sexuality and the hormones that allow us to be sexual creatures....

Am I going to give a sermon on sex?  Not exactly.  However, I want to discuss how a girl's transformation into womanhood can sometimes lead to weight gain along with other times in a woman's life that can alter our bodies.  Hormones play a large role in our body image, whether we want to believe it or not.  During puberty girls normally enter what I call the "awkward" phase.  You slender body is starting to develop breasts but yet you also start to become fuller everywhere else as well.  I remember when I started to feel awkward in my body.  I was in middle school.  I looked in the mirror one day and realized that my face was puffy and I wasn't as tiny as I was before.  Now I was becoming a woman, in the physical sense of the word, and what I saw wasn't exactly appealing.

I realized I couldn't just eat chips anymore.  I had to work at staying healthy and looking lean.  By the time I entered high school I was feeling much better.  I had become healthier and my body was finally starting to even itself out.  I had an hour glass figure and was completely happy with my self image.  Once I was out of high school I had my first child, a wonderful baby girl, and that's when other hormones started to change my body.  Now I couldn't just lounge around and eat healthy.  Now I had to stay active and eat healthy to maintain a proper weight.

Of course staying active wasn't on the top of my list.  After my wonderful McKayla I had 3 more children; William, Carlie, and Davey.  I had just given up on the fact that I would never be slender again.  And now to this day I'm still not sure if that will ever happen.  My hormones and metabolism seem to have me at a stand still.  No matter how hard I try I can never seem to lose the weight.  It seems like a conspiracy sometimes.

Now I started exercising and eating healthier than I have ever done before.  I had lost 11 pounds and then what happened????  I got my period!  Yes, I get it every month.  I have for the past 15 years.  But now I have cravings for chocolate and sweets which I have never had before.  I am realizing that throughout the years my body has changed and that means that my habits must change.  I put on 5 pounds since the last time I wrote and it is because I gave into those cravings.  It will not be easy next month trying to come up with things to do so I don't eat chocolate or cake all the time. 

I am planning on building a garden box on my deck.  With that I hope to be able to grow wonderful fresh fruits and vegetables.  Hopefully that added activity will help deter my cravings for the unhealthy sweet foods and lead me to eating more healthy naturally sweet foods....

So what was the motto of this story???  Honestly, I don't know.  Initially I was hoping to talk about a woman and menstrual cycles and how that can lead us to weight gain.  Somehow I got sidetracked, though, and now I'm not sure where I went.  It may be just a bunch of rambling but in my head it made perfect sense. 

Ultimately, I want women to realize that as you age your body changes and the way your body responds to certain things changes as well.  The world is forever changing, that makes us no different.  We must find ways to cope and re-evaluate ourselves.  Find your triggers and see how you can diffuse the situation before it becomes a massive explosion. 

Like I said, a bunch of rambling, but I hope someone got something out of it.  Keep working towards your goal, I know I am.  Gym for me 6 days a week, one day for rest.  Stay motivated and I will continue this journey with you.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Off the Wagon

Okay, so this past week I felt a little "entitled".  I felt entitled to eat whatever I wanted, that is.  I have not lost anymore weight but I have stayed relatively the same weight.  I had taken myself off of such a strict schedule and that was a big mistake.  Not only did I not lose any weight but I felt myself slipping right back into that horrible "food addiction" that I had suppressed for over a month.  Disappointment settled in my gut and I have concluded that "entitlement" doesn't necessarily become a good thing.

For the past week I have done everything in my power to tell myself that what I was eating was okay because I deserved it.  Wrong, Lauren!  I deserve to be healthy, not gorge on empty calories or grease filled foods.  Not what I had been working towards at all!  I had been doing so well.  Also, I kept telling myself that as long as I wasn't gaining weight and I was still working out I was doing okay.  That is incorrect also.

I have worked so hard and I was going to throw it all away because of stupid excuses.  I refuse to make excuses anymore.  I will not eat that double cheeseburger because I ran 3 miles that morning.  Instead I will eat a chicken caesar salad.  I will not have that piece of cake for dessert.  Instead I will reach for a fat free pudding cup.  I will not have that soda that I haven't had in over a month.  Instead I will have that glass of water that has given me renewed energy and life.

I am not going to become a statistic that falls off the diet wagon and doesn't get back on.  I have brushed off my dirt and fixed my motivation.  I am getting back on the wagon and weight loss will commence once again.

Good luck in dieting!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

I'm not really big into Valentine's Day.  I think that you should show that kind of love and affection throughout the year.  Valentine's Day has become a commercial holiday and, as I still buy my hubby a card, I don't see a reason to spend one day celebrating.  To me, it's a day to not only love your spouse, boyfriend/ girlfriend, children, family, etc. but a day to love the most important person of all.  Love yourself!
Today I didn't eat a box of chocolates, I went to the gym and climbed a mountain on the treadmill after running 2.5 miles on the eliptical.  I now feel so refreshed and, honestly, I didn't want to stop.  I love the way I feel after I get done a good workout.  I love the feeling of accomplishment.  I love the feeling of self worth that I instill upon myself. 

After the gym, feeling so wonderful inside, I played outside with the little ones since the sun was shining high and warm.  We played on the swingset and Carlie found a "bug" on the slide.  She called me over and had actually found a small amount of snow that had been spared melting from the shade of the playhouse.  She decided to bombard me with itty bitty snowballs!  Can you imagine?  That little stinker tricked me!  There wasn't a bug, just snowballs waiting for me to come over.  With the extra energy I had acquired while at the gym I was better able to enjoy the beautiful day that was bestowed upon us.

So when you are wishing everyone around you Happy Valentine's Day, why not add that person in the mirror?  That person will be with you forever, rain or shine, ups or downs.  That person will never abandon you.  Love that person like you would love anyone else.  That person in the mirror deserves it and that person in the mirror will appreciate that you have not forgotten about them!  How will you show that you love them?

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there!  May your day be full of love and joys.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Moving in the right direction

Well, I still haven't been able to beat the dreaded plateau.  I was hoping that once I was under 160 I would start losing again....  Failure....  Oh well.  On Friday Dave and I decided to join the local YMCA again.  We took Carlie and David swimming.  We had a blast!  I can't wait to take McKayla and William tomorrow night! 
Yesterday Dave and I went to work out for a little bit.  We each did 30 minutes/ 3 miles on the eliptical and that was definitely enough.  Today, since child watch isn't open on Sunday's, I will be visiting the Y alone.  I will have Pandora on rocking out to Pop Hits of the 90's.  It's amazing how songs from my past make me want to get moving again....  Sometimes I think and wonder what I did when I was younger to stay so fit.  I moved around, a lot. 

Before I had my car I used to walk almost everywhere.  I remember saying that once I got my license I would still walk everywhere.  Well, that didn't happen.  I think, though, that I will once again start doing that on nice days.  If I have to go to the store that's right across the creek, why drive?  There is a sidewalk from my house to the Dollar Store or Food Lion.  I can just walk there.  Also, if I really want to move I can walk that mile to the gas station to get that gallon of milk... or why not 2 gallons?  If I have 2 gallons I can lift weights on the way back.  :) 

Imagine everything you can do in a day.  You really don't need a gym membership to lose weight, however it is convenient on those really cold, rainy, miserable days.  I saw on tv the other day that walking 2,000 steps a day will burn 100 calories.  How can you incorporate an extra 2,000 steps a day?  That seems like a lot when you look at it in a whole.  But what if you do it subconsciously?  Do you ever take your glass to the fridge to pour your milk or juice?  Why not leave the glass on the furthest part of your counter, walk to the fridge, get the milk/ juice out, walk back to your glass, then walk back to the fridge... ending with the walk back to your glass?  There you added 20- 30 steps depending on how large your kitchen is.  Yes, it adds time.  Yes, we are a society where we try and find ways to cut corners so we can make room for other activities in the day.

Here is a challenge:  Try adding 2,000 extra steps a day into your life.  So what if that diminishes the amount of time you sit on the couch to only 1 hour and 50 minutes instead of 2 hours.  We are an obese society and the first way to change that is in the home.  As much as it is good for schools to improve habits in children's lives it is more important for parents to begin at home.

I maintain a household with very little snacks or sweets.  I incorporate fun ways for my children to snack.  We make ants on a log or silly faces with fruit.  They like snacks but I find that at the grocery store they ask me for bananas, tomatoes, grapes, apples....  They don't ask for potato chips or cookies.  This is because I started at home with teaching good habits.  That's where it needs to start.

So work on the challenge, keep motivated, keep moving.  I know that I will not stay down for the count. I get back up and I keep working at it.  My goal is not unattainable, it is just taking me a little longer than expected to reach it.  I will make it, though, and so will you.  Let's continue to do this together!