Hello everyone! I must admit, today I was not motivated what so ever to do any exercising.... However, Carlie was sick all day yesterday so she was looking for a way out of the house. She was adamant that she wanted to go play so she was definitely my motivation today. As a matter of fact, she is my motivation everyday along with David, McKayla, and William. Without them and the support they have been giving me I know that I am doing the right thing.
McKayla said to me the other day that I don't have a fat belly anymore. I used to take offense to when anyone talked about my weight, now I'm looking for ways that people can compliment me. I want to look in the mirror and see the results of my hard work. I want others to look at me and notice the hard work. I know that we are our biggest critics and when I look at myself I don't always see what I have accomplished but my family and friends can. It is wonderful to have McKayla now tell me that I've lost the belly that I have carried for far too long.
Am I where I want to be??? Far from it. Actually I have gone so far backwards I'm just trying to play catch up to where I was a month ago. I know that struggling with this will pass in time but I am not looking at my weight gain again as a set back. I can see that I still have the waist that I worked hard for. I still have the flatter stomach (although not where I want it to be). I can feel that my butt is becoming more tone and my pecks are starting to build muscle. (My pecks are important to me because they are helping fight off the gravity that four children brings on.)
I have gained 7 pounds in a month. Is it because of lack of exercise? Not a chance. It may be a couple pounds of fat from adding more variety to my diet again but a lot of my weight gain I know is in muscle mass. I go to the gym 5 to 6 days a week, work out for at least an hour and a half but usually two hours (that's all the little ones can stay in child watch at a time), and I still don't eat a lot. I have fallen back to eating late, however, and that is something I need to change again. Even if I don't stop eating at 5pm I can stop at 6 or 6:30. But the late night snacks have not helped me.
So today, with Carlie as my motivation, I exercised for 2 full hours suffering through a shin splint to complete 2.12 miles on the treadmill in 30 minutes. I did another 45 minutes on the eliptical, totalling over 3 miles on that, and worked on my abs and other muscles for the remainder of the 2 hours. I felt so great after the workout I took the kids to the park, played a little tag, some hide and seek, "bear" family, and pushed the little ones on the swing (in the process showing them what an "underdog" was).
We had so much fun, laughing, running, jumping. Nothing can stand in my way when I have the love and laughter of my children. The hugs they share, the imaginations they pull me into. Between having to rescue my bear cubs to taking the dinosaurs out of jail, I have come to the conclusion that I am a magician who can change any environment into a world of wonder.
As I type my little monsters are hiding in the cave on my bed (my comforter) and trying to stay out of the rain. They make me want to move on and continue a journey. My imagination can take me to wonderful places when I reach different milestones. But I don't need a scale to tell me I'm doing good. I see it in my energy level and when I chase my little wonders through an empty field or even through our living room. I want to be active, I want to run, I want to be out doing things. I want to live and I have chosen to live actively.
So look deep within yourself. Who do you chose to be? Do you chose to sit on the sidelines? Do you chose to join the team and give it all you have? Or do you think you are more of the motivational person? Remember that motivation doesn't show up on the couch. Motivation shows up when you start on your journey; maybe not right away, but it will catch up with you. Drag yourself up out of the pit of no return. You have not hit rock bottom yet. I pulled myself up. Join me and we can move forward together!
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